demonwolfmaster

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Offline (the 04/24/2016 at 10:36pm)

demonwolfmaster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4318
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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demonwolfmaster's page activity

Visits<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Rawrshi</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:54pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 2:37pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:35am<b>bbylette</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:17am<b>assurant</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 2:12am<b>unknownsilver</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>LittleKittyJamie</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:10pm<b>slutfactory</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:35pm<b>muffett89</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:14am<b>james98e</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:35am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:35am<b>baker0350</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:02pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Allicat1878</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:37pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:14pm<b>russfml</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:52pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:38pm

demonwolfmaster's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of demonwolfmaster's badges

demonwolfmaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm / Switzerland / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

by fUcKOAHdSAjl / 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

by WatchOut / 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

by justwantingtohelp / 08/16/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

by lawman / 08/15/2013 at 9:34am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

by cookiemonster / 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

by skaterboy / 08/13/2013 at 11:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

by really? / 08/13/2013 at 2:58am / United States / Love

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.