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demonwolfmaster

Offline (the 03/26/2014 at 9:21am) | Search for a member

demonwolfmaster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1287
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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demonwolfmaster's page activity

Visits<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:06pm<b>GotItWow</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:01am<b>MichaelDeSanta</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:27pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:02am<b>shaar</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 5:50am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 1:26am<b>Pulsezx</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 6:33am<b>Baha_Gills</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 3:11pm<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 10:24pm<b>kbabylvr21</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 4:20pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 10:41pm<b>trevieh690</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:42pm<b>ygdrassil</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 8:59am<b>challan</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:35pm<b>xoxkaeliii7</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:52am<b>VannahJane</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 4:54pm<b>jacsoccerdude3</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 4:48pm<b>KendraLaine</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 2:04pm

demonwolfmaster's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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demonwolfmaster's favorite FMLs

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

#20839746
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51627) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/16/2013 at 1:02am - kids - by justwantingtohelp - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49139) - you deserved it (3136)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55156) - you deserved it (5025)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54183) - you deserved it (6160)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

#20835323
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40612) - you deserved it (6121)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by cookiemonster (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45342) - you deserved it (4549)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (3788) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49259) - you deserved it (6210)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (7372)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45104) - you deserved it (4023)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33992) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

#20830944
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50799) - you deserved it (3395)

On 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm - kids - by rachel (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59287) - you deserved it (3159)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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