demonwolfmaster

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Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 9:51am)

demonwolfmaster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4649
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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demonwolfmaster's page activity

Visits<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Rawrshi</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:54pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 2:37pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:35am<b>bbylette</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:17am<b>assurant</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 2:12am<b>unknownsilver</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>LittleKittyJamie</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:10pm<b>slutfactory</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:35pm<b>muffett89</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:14am<b>james98e</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:35am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:35am<b>baker0350</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:02pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Allicat1878</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:37pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:14pm<b>russfml</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:52pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:38pm

demonwolfmaster's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of demonwolfmaster's badges

demonwolfmaster's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

by Idigrespectfulattire / 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

by pledonasm / 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm / India (Maharashtra) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

by failuretolaunch2 / 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

by really? / 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm / United States / Love

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

by mycar / 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

by CrappyDay / 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

by nobieb / 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 4:06am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

by nice guys finish last / 08/20/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

by iwannagotomiamitoo / 08/19/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" / 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Love

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

by why / 08/17/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Love