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demonslayer91's favorite FMLs
by Ape / 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
by anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, it's my soon to be 12 year old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 2:55pm / United States / Kids
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Geek
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 1:50am / Singapore / Kids
Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Ohio) / Money
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 12:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm / Italy / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…