About demonkonga : Roarr im the rare white tiger that roam the street
Also im a guy that love to read FML and i hate facebook becuz the police can use it as evidence against your ass and people stalk u + people take that shit way to seriously
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (2017)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (1744)
On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (4871)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (2551)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (7319)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (82735)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (2936)
On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States
Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16148) - you deserved it (4924)
On 02/01/2010 at 8:45am - animals - by dontbadouche - Senegal
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5790) - you deserved it (52024)
On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10721) - you deserved it (24889)
On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter learned how to write her name correctly for the first time. Only thing is, she decided to practise writing it all over my body with a sharpie while I was sleeping. Works starts in 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (3151)
On 10/02/2009 at 9:39am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (6078)
On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178163) - you deserved it (25406)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Friday 24 May 2013
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