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demoncrow

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 7:40pm) | Search for a member

demoncrow

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  • Number of visits : 363
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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demoncrow's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (3776)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (51213)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (3550)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (3550)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39742) - you deserved it (6160)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43296) - you deserved it (7914)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (4034)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49625) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48086) - you deserved it (6017)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (4141)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46025) - you deserved it (8301)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56304) - you deserved it (2994)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (5099)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40239) - you deserved it (3454)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42493) - you deserved it (4393)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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