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demoncrow

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 1:22pm) | Search for a member

demoncrow

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1238
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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demoncrow's favorite FMLs

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

#21518868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (1969)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm - health - by fuckoffgramps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the huge project I've been working on for the past week is actually a group project. Everyone in my group knew. They were just letting me do the entire thing by myself because I'm "smart". FML

#21517916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/21/2016 at 7:02pm - work - by AkiAnime - United States (California)

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

#21483973
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (1875)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

#21479527
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (5817)

On 10/13/2015 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by luckygirl - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

#21479432
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (5615)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realised just how much my favourite pornstar looks like my sister. FML

#21478220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (7473)

On 10/10/2015 at 11:15am - love - by Oh Cock - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML

#21472720
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (2359)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by My Daughter Fails at Life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (3775)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

#21420064
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (1905)

On 06/03/2015 at 2:03am - misc - by she has dumbcuntitis (woman) - United States (California)



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