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delude

Offline (the 03/04/2014 at 8:34am) | Search for a member

delude

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  • Number of visits : 229
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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delude's page activity

Visits<b>ryanator008</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:02am<b>quizzy77</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:37pm

delude's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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delude's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (10717)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42083) - you deserved it (3369)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54022) - you deserved it (11161)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37718) - you deserved it (3983)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (6474)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (4755)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44949) - you deserved it (6822)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48289) - you deserved it (5691)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

#21165721
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (7176)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by embarrassed girl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61558) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53963) - you deserved it (4791)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49815) - you deserved it (6930)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

#21140459
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (4202)

On 05/15/2014 at 8:02am - work - by iworkatofficedepothomes (woman) - United States (California)



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