Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

delude

Online | Search for a member

delude

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1634
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

delude's page activity

Visits<b>sweetbeaut</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:49am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:46am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:28am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:33pm<b>plastix</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:51am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:31am<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:10pm<b>niallo</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:39pm<b>mahughes</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:23am<b>clickme</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:56am<b>tweetyzyaw</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:53am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:06am<b>mirbear</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:20am<b>SilkMudah</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:13am<b>battleaxe_bowman</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:28am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:50pm<b>byattwain</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:40pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:46am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:07am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:08am<b>steve1122</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:02pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:35pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:15am<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:35am

delude's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of delude's badges

delude's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (6932)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (6241)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (2608)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (2327)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (2229)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (3537)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29323) - you deserved it (7872)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my friends have contests to see who can photoshop my pictures to make them even uglier. FML

#21370101
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (2428)

On 03/07/2015 at 6:55pm - misc - by Theuglyfriend - United States

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (6475)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

#21361960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (2040)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:42pm - work - by Confused and Disgusted - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (6151)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35712) - you deserved it (3194)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (35647)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (6556)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: