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delude

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delude

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 259
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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delude's page activity

Visits<b>ryanator008</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:02am<b>quizzy77</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:37pm

delude's FML badges

Consolation prize

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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delude's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (38230)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (4031)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (5779)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (50411)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (6686)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35062) - you deserved it (11474)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42341) - you deserved it (3377)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54924) - you deserved it (11299)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37959) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (6534)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45874) - you deserved it (6953)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48395) - you deserved it (5694)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

#21165721
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (7179)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by embarrassed girl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61607) - you deserved it (5420)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)



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