delphina

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delphina

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 50079
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About delphina : Fuckin' epic.

delphina's page activity

Visits<b>sammy011</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 5:03pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:13pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:16am<b>GumboVariation</b> - the 12/29/2009 at 4:30am<b>ImDoingYourMom</b> - the 10/11/2009 at 5:38pm<b>loui_h</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 7:44am<b>hoshica</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 7:45pm<b>whphoto</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 6:27pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 5:13pm<b>prb</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 7:09am<b>Rachelgrl1989</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 6:00pm<b>meowrr</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 5:17pm<b>fmlbaha</b> - the 04/20/2009 at 3:34pm

delphina's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

delphina's favorite FMLs

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

by Screwed / 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

by Moanie / 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

by MarMar / 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

by Noname / 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

by Alexa23 / 03/15/2009 at 11:47am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

by Alexa23 / 03/15/2009 at 11:47am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

by storyofmylife / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / United States / Kids

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

by knee2tak / 03/14/2009 at 5:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

by DanniRae / 03/13/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

by tomtomcutiepoof / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

by tomtomcutiepoof / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Georgia) / Love