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deliki

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deliki

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 138
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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deliki's page activity

Visits<b>ninety</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:51pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 07/08/2012 at 2:14pm<b>mariet</b> - the 04/13/2012 at 1:39pm

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deliki's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (3653)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34025) - you deserved it (8334)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

#20119554
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (1215)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (46451)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27195) - you deserved it (6876)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

#19907093
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (1466)

On 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm - work - by cj1012 - United States

Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML

#19658445
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6460) - you deserved it (38329)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Cam (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7140) - you deserved it (51582)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

#19621592
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9580) - you deserved it (33968)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

#19564569
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (4814)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17249) - you deserved it (2417)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (5762)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (5124)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (2928)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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