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delaneybabyy

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delaneybabyy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 172
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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delaneybabyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52230) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37862) - you deserved it (5054)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

#16129484
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (21701)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

#15896515
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (7651)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28179) - you deserved it (3958)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)



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