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delaineyg

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delaineyg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 193
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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delaineyg's favorite FMLs

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21976) - you deserved it (1317)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7323) - you deserved it (32303)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (8827)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19650) - you deserved it (3709)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (5307)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10717) - you deserved it (36837)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (1727)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (2508)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

#19946274
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (6741)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (4432)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

#19933310
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5971) - you deserved it (32577)

On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

#19933310
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5971) - you deserved it (32577)

On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (2370)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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