deet124

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Offline (the 05/17/2016 at 4:24am)

deet124

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deet124's page activity

Visits<b>dBLIZZARD</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 7:02pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:25am<b>DariaTrent</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:44pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Unknown939</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:42am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:49am<b>cuki03</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:35pm<b>alakazam12</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:36pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:19pm<b>vadskimer</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:47pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>roxyroller20</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:17pm<b>HackNSlashHD</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:27pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:45pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:19pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:36pm<b>Fidel_ASStro</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:16am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 5:42pm

deet124's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of deet124's badges

deet124's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 8:21am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

by nerderer / 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

by NoMoreTacoBell / 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

by wtf?? / 02/09/2015 at 8:26am / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

by goodbyediet / 01/30/2015 at 6:00am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

by chelse_elyce / 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

by klaatu barada nikto / 01/20/2015 at 8:23am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 6:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 8:58am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

by ozozl / 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous