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deedoubles

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deedoubles

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2832
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deedoubles's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (5001)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (5997)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (35810)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41958) - you deserved it (3770)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (4468)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

#16271317
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33738) - you deserved it (4611)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

#16251176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (72687)

On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

#15038922
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11527) - you deserved it (42823)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54729) - you deserved it (7780)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

#14209327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9445) - you deserved it (40691)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14993) - you deserved it (24494)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML

#13608435
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30527) - you deserved it (3806)

On 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by zzzgrady - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML

#13537377
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (43727)

On 10/21/2010 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

#12994880
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (36284)

On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (12660)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)



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