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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (2225)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (3346)
On 02/14/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by makeupsex (woman) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (4467)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (4555)
On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14625) - you deserved it (25184)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (2751)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (3327)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28200) - you deserved it (3571)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8200) - you deserved it (64844)
On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9344) - you deserved it (32466)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (6196)
On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -
Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7663) - you deserved it (30280)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10359) - you deserved it (16296)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, after having the worst night of my life, my boss chewing me out and acid reflux all morning, I went to the snack machine at work to get the only thing that makes me happy, Reese's PB cups. I had just enough money to buy the very last one in the machine, and it got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (3161)
On 10/26/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by zzzgrady - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5905) - you deserved it (30681)
On 10/21/2010 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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