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deedoubles

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deedoubles

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3082
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deedoubles's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11582) - you deserved it (40064)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you deserved it (35606)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (4556)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (4905)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

#19966736
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (2406)

On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

#19966487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (1750)

On 07/21/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (2222)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (2853)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33165) - you deserved it (3291)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7006) - you deserved it (22168)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

#19948729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (2462)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (26019)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

#19940108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7110) - you deserved it (36103)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:45am - health - by scooter922 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)



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