deedoubles

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Offline (the 08/19/2016 at 12:19am)

deedoubles

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4218
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deedoubles's page activity

Visits<b>trevieh690</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:46pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:29pm<b>antoniasiddall</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 9:14am<b>Makaze</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:10pm<b>tannara</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 1:51pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:25pm<b>Mizzesbestie</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:54pm<b>ErictheRed</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 3:37pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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deedoubles's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 12:25am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

by clayton / 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Infiltrator4444 / 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

by It was the 11 year old / 07/21/2012 at 4:00am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

by Closingwild / 07/21/2012 at 2:18am / Mexico (Jalisco) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2012 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

by AussieG75 / 07/21/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:00am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

by lovealways22 / 07/17/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

by oops123 / 07/16/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Kids

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

by scooter922 / 07/15/2012 at 3:45am / United States (Maryland) / Health