Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deedoubles

Search for a member

deedoubles
  • Town/Country : Vancouver , Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1105
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

deedoubles's last visitors

tannaraMizzesbestie

deedoubles's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of deedoubles's badges

deedoubles's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (4525)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (1507)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (43065)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (2837)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5492) - you deserved it (14831)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

#19828906
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (2780)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (2401)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

#19822934
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9993) - you deserved it (22701)

On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (8181)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (3845)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (2695)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (3388)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (8325)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (1563)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: