Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

decimater

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

decimater

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1641
  • Number of comments : 619
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About decimater : Well hello there! I'm guessing you're here either because you like/hate my comment and want to know more about my intelligence OR you found my badass picture appealing. Since I'm too lazy to post a biography, just message me if you'd like to know more. Unless you're a creep. Bye! P.S I love you Canadians!

decimater's page activity

Visits<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - 16 hours ago<b>TheSovietOnion</b> - 24 hours ago<b>amisenho</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 9:42am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:46am<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:43am<b>NextGenPrepper</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:06am<b>Uglyfeet</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:38am<b>Thinkitthrough</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:57pm<b>penguinhalo</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:57pm<b>ositoakaluis</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Lavelle1313</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:55pm<b>umadbromad</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:02am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:37pm<b>mmaaday</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:18pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:34pm<b>DumbDog</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:40pm<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:20pm

Liked!<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:39pm<b>mmaaday</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:48am

decimater's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of decimater's badges

decimater's favorite FMLs

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (4951)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6427) - you deserved it (46732)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70532) - you deserved it (15309)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14218) - you deserved it (24990)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: