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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2105
  • Number of comments : 763
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About decimater : So, what have I done to deserve your attention? Well, if there's anything that is interesting about me, it's that I love Canada, hate the winters in Chicago, love my university, and absolutely ADORE kittens! I love talking to people, so if you want, you can message me; I'm a good listener.. err-reader lol! Oh, and I'm absolutely in love with my car!

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decimater's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML


I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you deserved it (3731)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (4960)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6466) - you deserved it (46923)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML


I agree, your life sucks (70738) - you deserved it (15343)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you deserved it (25094)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

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  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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