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decimater

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

decimater

44Fucked!

decimater
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2527
  • Number of comments : 825
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About decimater : So, what have I done to deserve your attention? Well, if there's anything that is interesting about me, it's that I love Canada, hate the winters in Chicago, and absolutely ADORE kittens! Have a nice day!!!

decimater's page activity

Visits<b>elohnah</b> - yesterday at 3:11am<b>edraptor</b> - yesterday at 1:22am<b>seninaa</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:02pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:47pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:28am<b>kikoma</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:32am<b>anumakhlaq</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:29pm<b>NotGabe</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:08pm<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:08am<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:50am<b>potionowl</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:42am<b>heyqt</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:46pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 6:34pm<b>YeahItsMeTommy</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:13pm<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:51pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 1:02am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:33pm

Fucked!<b>elohnah</b> - 21 hours ago<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:08pm<b>potionowl</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:43am<b>bandgeek12345</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:49pm<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:31am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:32am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:52am<b>BBlah</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:32am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:11pm<b>roman11</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:42am<b>akrolaser</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:29pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:29am<b>dtrey21465</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Stillo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:46pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:12pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:20am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:46am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:24pm

decimater's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of decimater's badges

decimater's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (3780)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (5087)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7174) - you deserved it (49682)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
698 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73964) - you deserved it (16057)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15134) - you deserved it (26377)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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