deathseeker16758

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Offline (the 12/29/2014 at 8:45am)

deathseeker16758

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2478
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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deathseeker16758's page activity

Visits<b>xxghostxx98789</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:49am<b>j_cat187</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:35am<b>sensfan91</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:54pm<b>i_am_a_robot_bzz</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 7:49am<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:09am

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deathseeker16758's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 9:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

by Katthebamf / 09/28/2014 at 10:25am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

by 19collegestudentandpregant / 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 11:52am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 8:18am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

by hylianprincess / 09/25/2014 at 7:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

by skollasch / 09/25/2014 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

by disgusted / 09/25/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Maine) / Kids