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deathpotato's favorite FMLs
Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 2:19am / United States (Oregon) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML
by FML_Elle / 10/06/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by S. / 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
by anonomous / 04/07/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 8:36am / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love
by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM… Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower.… Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he…
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…