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Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met an we went to a fancy restaurant . Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, an he decidd to end it by saying "You know, u chew lyk a cow."
Taday I Found Out That A Family Member Found A Publisher 4 His Book; His Badly Written, Terribly Sourced, Historically Inaccurate Book That Insult And Misrepresent Most World Culture And Religions. If This Actually Makes It To Print, I'll Never Be Able To Use My Maiden Name Again. FML
TODAY I WAS PARTNERD WITH THIS REALLY SEXY GUY FIR AN AUDITION. HE SAYS "AM I REALLY STUCK WITH YOU? I CAN'T EVEN STAND BEING SEEN WITH U IN PUBLIC!" I START CURSING HIM OUT REALLY LOUD BUT THEN I REALIZE THAT HE'S ONLY READING THE SCRIPT. EVERYONE WAS STARING AND HE CALLD ME A CRAZY BITCH. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shrt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on yur daughter's face last night." I ran into my grlfriend's parents at the store. FML
Today, I was out with mah friend . My six year old daughter was also with us . While we were walking through the parking lot, mah daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
Friday 27 March 2015