Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deathburger13

Search for a member

deathburger13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8246
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

deathburger13's page activity

Visits<b>jclark88</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:57am<b>davered89</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:07pm<b>streetjk</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MistyAxe</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:21am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 11:20pm<b>edwin1</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:42pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:52pm<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 10:47pm<b>bertiebass1</b> - the 01/18/2010 at 5:06pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 9:20am<b>bahdspeler</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 6:33am<b>MermaidSongXOXO</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 8:55pm<b>JStromberg</b> - the 10/12/2009 at 4:25pm<b>breathemein</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 10:25am<b>eiji_chan</b> - the 09/23/2009 at 12:12am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 9:23pm<b>sexymessy</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 2:22am

deathburger13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathburger13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (40574)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42968) - you deserved it (8128)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (2785)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52465) - you deserved it (3985)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

#4975580
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12228) - you deserved it (42155)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds passive aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML

#4974765
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13363) - you deserved it (43296)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

#4974670
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6788) - you deserved it (62048)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38807) - you deserved it (14484)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

#4962487
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47588) - you deserved it (4114)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85682) - you deserved it (5122)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37329) - you deserved it (10301)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

#4949841
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39949) - you deserved it (6992)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:44am - animals - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

#4945684
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45565) - you deserved it (13788)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

#4941541
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (4703)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (4803)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: