Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deathburger13

Search for a member

deathburger13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8337
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

deathburger13's page activity

Visits<b>jclark88</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:57am<b>davered89</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:07pm<b>streetjk</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MistyAxe</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:21am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 11:20pm<b>edwin1</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:42pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:52pm<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 10:47pm<b>bertiebass1</b> - the 01/18/2010 at 5:06pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 9:20am<b>bahdspeler</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 6:33am<b>MermaidSongXOXO</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 8:55pm<b>JStromberg</b> - the 10/12/2009 at 4:25pm<b>breathemein</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 10:25am<b>eiji_chan</b> - the 09/23/2009 at 12:12am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 9:23pm<b>sexymessy</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 2:22am

deathburger13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathburger13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49567) - you deserved it (3197)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

#5031923
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6049) - you deserved it (38732)

On 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by nottililgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56193) - you deserved it (21742)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47505) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

#5017759
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38483) - you deserved it (2211)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

#5017525
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42357) - you deserved it (3248)

On 09/03/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8808) - you deserved it (46336)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (34849)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (38238)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (30770)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (16975)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (6591)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (15963)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

#4987188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (6126)

On 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm - kids - by pinks (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

#4983911
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (2623)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: