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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12787
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deathburger13's page activity

Visits<b>goodshadow2163</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 8:45pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:20am<b>M3DO</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:42pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:09pm<b>saltyacs</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:46am<b>manww00</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>blitzy45</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 2:37pm<b>ThatOneGuyIsDope</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:54pm<b>RichieRichhh</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:30am<b>dkelly_6</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:02pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:29am<b>jclark88</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:57am<b>davered89</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:07pm<b>streetjk</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MistyAxe</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:21am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 11:20pm

deathburger13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathburger13's favorite FMLs

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

by nottililgirl / 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

by robbed / 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

by Pop_Pies / 09/03/2009 at 9:27am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2009 at 9:25am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2009 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

by sexyfreak2510 / 09/03/2009 at 2:47am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

by yogabbagabba / 09/03/2009 at 1:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

by ooops / 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

by Math_Rocker / 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

by boytoy / 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

by littlemissignored / 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

by pinks / 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm / United States / Kids

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

by Misterhippo / 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

by becca1417 / 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous