deathburger13

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deathburger13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11773
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deathburger13's page activity

Visits<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:20am<b>M3DO</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:42pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:09pm<b>saltyacs</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:46am<b>manww00</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>blitzy45</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 2:37pm<b>ThatOneGuyIsDope</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:54pm<b>RichieRichhh</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:30am<b>dkelly_6</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:02pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:29am<b>jclark88</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:57am<b>davered89</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:07pm<b>streetjk</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MistyAxe</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:21am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 11:20pm<b>edwin1</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:42pm

deathburger13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathburger13's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

by HeShe / 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

by indecentcameraexposure / 09/05/2009 at 5:14pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

by itsjustnotfair / 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

by leahbeuhh / 09/05/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

by HotCurry / 09/05/2009 at 12:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

by flexibleflatulance / 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

by badhairday / 09/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

by bubblezzz123 / 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

by 1ndustrytx / 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

by no_hullabalo / 09/04/2009 at 10:50am / Taiwan (T'ai-wan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

by pandabear93 / 09/04/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

by NotYourLady / 09/04/2009 at 2:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids