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deathburger13

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deathburger13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7198
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deathburger13's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (420498)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58518) - you deserved it (3838)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13097) - you deserved it (38009)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

#12898
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35588) - you deserved it (1613)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (6818)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (55637)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56889) - you deserved it (20117)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43996) - you deserved it (13055)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (12053)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

#8528
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (1780)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by 918boyz (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (1651)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (323100)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (4926)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

#3930
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4720) - you deserved it (17495)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:08pm - animals - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)



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