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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (7312)
On 02/15/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by loueb17 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59501) - you deserved it (5943)
On 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm - misc - by NeverCampingAgain (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408988) - you deserved it (26496)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43335) - you deserved it (6320)
On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70961) - you deserved it (8745)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (13327)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (35733)
On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23795) - you deserved it (338808)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54474) - you deserved it (3331)
On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12538) - you deserved it (28550)
On 02/08/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by olivia_stealth (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12781) - you deserved it (37303)
On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (1201)
On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16561) - you deserved it (5653)
On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (49030)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55942) - you deserved it (19872)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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