deathburger13

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deathburger13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11402
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deathburger13's page activity

Visits<b>M3DO</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 11:42pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:09pm<b>saltyacs</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:46am<b>manww00</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>blitzy45</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 2:37pm<b>ThatOneGuyIsDope</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:54pm<b>RichieRichhh</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:30am<b>dkelly_6</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:02pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:29am<b>jclark88</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:57am<b>davered89</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:07pm<b>streetjk</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MistyAxe</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:21am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 11:20pm<b>edwin1</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:42pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:52pm

deathburger13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathburger13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a birthday party and got my face rubbed in with a cake. When I came out of the restroom having washed my face I noticed one of the girls going in. Just to be nice I asked, "They put cake on your face too, did they?" She said no, that was just her make-up. FML

by nickname / 09/14/2009 at 5:21am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML

by Broeman / 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (New York) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

by misc / 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

by BigSister / 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

by sarahpft / 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

by Casden / 09/13/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

by blind_date / 09/13/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML

by badhair / 09/12/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

by jeph23 / 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals