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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 12803
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deathburger13's page activity

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deathburger13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

deathburger13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

by dreamdude / 09/20/2009 at 9:21am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

by weddingcrashed / 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

by unlucky / 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Miscellaneous

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 11:20am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

by asthmasucks / 09/19/2009 at 3:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

by 1357katie / 09/19/2009 at 12:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was waiting for a delivery between 9am-8pm. At 7:30 pm, I finally decided to have a 3 minute (desperately needed) shower. During which time the delivery man came. I ran down the street in a towel that barely covered me. He was driving away looking at me in the mirror laughing. FML

by calamityjosie / 09/18/2009 at 1:24pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my work at a designer clothing store, we received a list of photos from the police of known shoplifters. My coworkers were looking at the list saying "Eugh, look at that one: you'd shoplift with a face like that". I walked over and saw that they were looking at a photo of my boyfriend. FML

by ellibits / 09/18/2009 at 3:29am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

by cramps / 09/17/2009 at 9:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Health