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death943

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death943
  • Town/Country : Narnia, United F****** States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 April 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 73
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About death943 : Random 14 year old, anything else? Fine.. I like anime,Card games on motorcycles, and no more

death943's last visitors

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death943's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of death943's badges

death943's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (6026)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

#20592650
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (43722)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (5213)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59697) - you deserved it (5740)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you deserved it (50541)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (1889)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15373) - you deserved it (1290)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5383) - you deserved it (26371)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (1242)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (2154)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18484) - you deserved it (2539)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (1142)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13957) - you deserved it (4413)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16944) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16944) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)



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