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death779

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death779

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  • Number of visits : 1953
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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death779's favorite FMLs

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44054) - you deserved it (4447)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44893) - you deserved it (4602)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12151) - you deserved it (49400)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (15284)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

#12023644
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17206) - you deserved it (42121)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Goody2shoes (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (3659)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (54647)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36428) - you deserved it (12031)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (5979)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (5981)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (2417)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (9196)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5952) - you deserved it (20961)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (6576)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5032) - you deserved it (75230)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)



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