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death2426

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death2426

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death2426's page activity

Visits<b>lec17</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 5:06pm<b>whyareyoustaring</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 6:07pm

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death2426's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40823) - you deserved it (15205)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (7534)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62417) - you deserved it (7255)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (19805)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56954) - you deserved it (11689)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (54366)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52004) - you deserved it (23346)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38910) - you deserved it (15976)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (7791)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (5064)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (3068)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (2595)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28960) - you deserved it (15360)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (8698)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States



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