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dearambivalence

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dearambivalence
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3619
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92308) - you deserved it (21263)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

#778324
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61038) - you deserved it (8085)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (158816) - you deserved it (27645)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224111) - you deserved it (23070)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML

#771501
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127539) - you deserved it (11021)

On 04/02/2009 at 6:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78096) - you deserved it (13670)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62294) - you deserved it (23162)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11547) - you deserved it (168061)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

#676610
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54591) - you deserved it (5697)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68761) - you deserved it (148457)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

#669476
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50497) - you deserved it (6765)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

#663425
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100800) - you deserved it (3807)

On 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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