About deafeningsilence : Im erin and i'm 15 :)
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Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5712) - you deserved it (64601)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5181) - you deserved it (52015)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8324) - you deserved it (56616)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21310) - you deserved it (3540)
On 11/09/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by Abr829 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (4981)
On 10/23/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by efmylife (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (3121)
On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40562) - you deserved it (1980)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Wow (man) - United States
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (3173)
On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (6117)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by a-scared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14974) - you deserved it (34030)
On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58611) - you deserved it (2724)
On 06/12/2009 at 11:05am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56530) - you deserved it (5098)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48804) - you deserved it (9045)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77140) - you deserved it (4861)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85252) - you deserved it (4535)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Monday 17 June 2013
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