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deadlydana

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deadlydana

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  • Number of visits : 147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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deadlydana's favorite FMLs

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

#21374314
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30461) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/14/2015 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (6705)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36810) - you deserved it (3486)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45675) - you deserved it (20718)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

#21126821
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (4653)

On 04/30/2014 at 12:20am - work - by KO - United States

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39281) - you deserved it (21257)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51417) - you deserved it (9636)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43980) - you deserved it (4621)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55254) - you deserved it (7770)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

#20606348
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43258) - you deserved it (14790)

On 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17061) - you deserved it (28651)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (9897)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49520) - you deserved it (6259)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (5196)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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