About deadeyedex : I'm Jason and I am always listening to Eminem im on FML alot cuz I'm always bored so message me
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Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8252) - you deserved it (25694)
On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15879) - you deserved it (4921)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (1435)
On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20262) - you deserved it (2665)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (6230)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (24454)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5185) - you deserved it (17913)
On 04/03/2012 at 7:11am - misc - by thatscreamerguy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15089) - you deserved it (8038)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16001) - you deserved it (2863)
On 03/10/2012 at 10:06pm - health - by jmac (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (2524)
On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (3957)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada
Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (2121)
On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41500)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (1751)
On 02/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (5042)
Monday 20 May 2013
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