About deaddonkey : Found out about this site on November 21 2012 through a friend. Found lots of funny stories on here about other peoples misery.
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deaddonkey's favorite FMLs
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm / Venezuela (Lara) / Miscellaneous
by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Kftc88 / 01/11/2013 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Health
by kblevss / 01/05/2013 at 4:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by fineididntwantkidsanyway / 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Bliggins / 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…