deaddonkey

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Offline (the 04/12/2016 at 3:38pm)

deaddonkey

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deaddonkeydeaddonkey
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 July 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 429
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About deaddonkey : Found out about this site on November 21 2012 through a friend. Found lots of funny stories on here about other peoples misery.

deaddonkey's page activity

Visits<b>Lepisma</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:53pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:06pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 9:20am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:14am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 6:59am<b>solo_super</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:32am<b>BlondBombShll88</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:26pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:28pm<b>kradaz1399</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:57am<b>annequenneville</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:14am<b>demix</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:55pm<b>KarennaElizabeth</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:25am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 2:10pm<b>ninety</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 10:44am<b>Wraith09</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 3:17pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 11:00pm

Fucked!<b>BlondBombShll88</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:47pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:26am

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deaddonkey's favorite FMLs

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm / Venezuela (Lara) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

by Kftc88 / 01/11/2013 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

by kblevss / 01/05/2013 at 4:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

by fineididntwantkidsanyway / 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

by Bliggins / 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love