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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ddh85

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ddh85
  • Town/Country : Philadelphia, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 October 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 667
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ddh85 : This site makes me think twice before even considering any events in my life are "FML" moments. However, some of these posts make me lose hope in humanity.

ddh85's last visitors

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ddh85's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of ddh85's badges

ddh85's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (21561) - you deserved it (6058)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

#17701558 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (19489) - you deserved it (1148)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:51am - misc - by Mark - United States (Washington)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

#17701146 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (13287) - you deserved it (27944)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by not_you17 - United States (Georgia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (11858) - you deserved it (1273)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (9686) - you deserved it (1682)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (5678) - you deserved it (41041)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

#17691759 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (11135) - you deserved it (722)

On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (13918) - you deserved it (2434)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my 97 year old Grandma has an imaginary 30 year old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (6432)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (10506) - you deserved it (2381)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (12898) - you deserved it (2595)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (21121) - you deserved it (2552)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

#17622359 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (1640)

On 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

#17620936 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (955)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (10053) - you deserved it (25036)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)