Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dcgriffith

Search for a member

dcgriffith
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dcgriffith's last visitors

WizardoAdorleeWantsHazzasGravydcgriffithxs4u

dcgriffith's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of dcgriffith's badges

dcgriffith's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61853) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (3216) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

#20726715
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (4221)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53014) - you deserved it (9386)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54387) - you deserved it (10838)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80471) - you deserved it (7662)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (60749)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

#20703976
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43719) - you deserved it (4986) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62498) - you deserved it (3362)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59545) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60771) - you deserved it (13253)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (40952)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61558) - you deserved it (13914)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

#20678467
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55927) - you deserved it (5897)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: