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About dcgriffith : Having a bad day? Read posts on FML, that's my philosophy
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (590)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by ohno - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6577) - you deserved it (2493)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8456) - you deserved it (1341)
On 03/23/2012 at 3:39am - love - by Hana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7892) - you deserved it (4285)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5471) - you deserved it (3370)
On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7415) - you deserved it (657)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7320) - you deserved it (1027)
On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9382) - you deserved it (1487)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (2599)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6306) - you deserved it (432)
On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21745) - you deserved it (2568)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (7282)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (33856)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2705) - you deserved it (8976) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (3838)
On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States
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