About dcb132z : Dollars
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dcb132z's favorite FMLs
by ouch / 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
by sammy18f / 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Milked Richard / 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 8:45am / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML
by sayhey22 / 01/09/2015 at 10:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by random875 / 01/07/2015 at 1:03am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML
by i_am_forever / 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
by 404: fuck not given / 11/23/2014 at 11:34am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by really / 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm / United States / Love
by thedudeman14 / 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New York) / Love
by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Sansa / 10/22/2014 at 5:30pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Love
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
by dodgerkiss / 06/10/2009 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
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