Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dcait_1196

Search for a member

dcait_1196
  • Town/Country : Virginia Beach, VA, U.S.A
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 November 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1203
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About dcait_1196 : hmmm.. im awsomee.

dcait_1196's last visitors

MattOnFMLkrossiZebideeFreezeAyame01xxLauraSxxWet_DreamYuuhiha

dcait_1196's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dcait_1196's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML

#13470194
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (3627)

On 10/16/2010 at 9:14am - misc - by dcait_1196 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56333) - you deserved it (14571)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60946) - you deserved it (4203)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#4728013
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (4962)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43875) - you deserved it (13214)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50216) - you deserved it (7502)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (76087)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51552) - you deserved it (2702)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55723) - you deserved it (5480)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55315) - you deserved it (16743)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17419) - you deserved it (44292)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: