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dca101

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dca101

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  • Number of visits : 564
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dca101's page activity

Visits<b>arrow007archer</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:48am<b>Danyellstar</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:07pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:07pm<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:19am<b>oulltalk</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:25pm<b>jchoops15</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:41am<b>MonsterEnergy27</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 10:11am<b>Alexzandriah</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 6:40am<b>noobly28</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 5:45pm<b>Markas</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:46am<b>UntitledFolder1</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:31pm<b>K410</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 2:08am<b>DannyGuerrero</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:50pm<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:35pm<b>kmj3637</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 10:18pm<b>jessicanewton</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 6:10pm<b>pessarn</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 6:05pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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dca101's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55019) - you deserved it (64137)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (65517)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55021) - you deserved it (4278)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (41676)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45540) - you deserved it (3014)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60550) - you deserved it (20229)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21974) - you deserved it (48075)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML

#20530332
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (6510)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35360) - you deserved it (6781)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (27385)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (34448)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32489) - you deserved it (9105)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

#20409320
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (10986)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (6143)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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