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dc9779

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dc9779
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 December 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 72
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dc9779's favorite FMLs

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57930) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39473) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41658) - you deserved it (4213)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (7021)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47184) - you deserved it (6165)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36399) - you deserved it (3359)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54462) - you deserved it (4093)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

#20823062
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51874) - you deserved it (3782)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45690) - you deserved it (7638)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54510) - you deserved it (5854)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

#19428226
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (1705)

On 04/08/2012 at 5:16am - love - by claudio117 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22828) - you deserved it (2798)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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