Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dbjb40

Search for a member

dbjb40

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9659
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dbjb40's page activity

Visits<b>XxNeoNTigeRxX</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 3:11pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 5:47pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 9:26am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 6:21pm

dbjb40's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dbjb40's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (11884)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (4445)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28219) - you deserved it (4986)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17805) - you deserved it (37300)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

#12542029
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (5605)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm - money - by noespresso (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

#12539128
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24pm - animals - by tammy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (2493)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

#12535853
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45351) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

#12535348
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you deserved it (35408)

On 08/15/2010 at 5:47am - work - by jacko (man) - Reserved

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (18557)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (45858)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

#12498801
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (8818)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm - kids - by qtpieo1 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

#12492067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (3455)

On 08/13/2010 at 1:33am - love - by brother love - United Kingdom

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (33713)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

#12449255
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (3723)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: