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dbjb40

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dbjb40
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  • Number of visits : 8367
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dbjb40's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18253) - you deserved it (125204)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (96321)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (132933)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60617) - you deserved it (262914)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (62301)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

#54872
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (4202)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60260) - you deserved it (5125)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8399) - you deserved it (40721)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

#2281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (9975)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14357) - you deserved it (24312)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35781) - you deserved it (19243)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version



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