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dbjb40

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dbjb40
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  • Number of visits : 8342
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dbjb40's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

#12695884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33626) - you deserved it (2894)

On 08/23/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30039) - you deserved it (20369)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39218) - you deserved it (11946)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (4055)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (4055)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44034) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (6602)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (2022)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34758) - you deserved it (6081)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (2733)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15118) - you deserved it (26061)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (7784)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you deserved it (4088)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)



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