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dbjb40

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dbjb40

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  • Number of visits : 9831
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dbjb40's page activity

Visits<b>XxNeoNTigeRxX</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 3:11pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 5:47pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 9:26am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 6:21pm

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dbjb40's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

#12849732
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (3885)

On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6192) - you deserved it (50653)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

#12842003
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (7998)

On 08/31/2010 at 6:33pm - misc - by nemi (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (7734)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (7734)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

#12836221
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10945) - you deserved it (48117)

On 08/31/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by weezel (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

#12832622
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (14057)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

#12805582
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (3988)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (22865)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (3556)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

#12782393
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29231) - you deserved it (2982)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by SeagullsShouldDie - United States

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14701) - you deserved it (36870)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

#12776865
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (8264)

On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML

#12769605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (11589)

On 08/27/2010 at 8:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments


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