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dbjb40

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dbjb40

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  • Number of visits : 9362
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dbjb40's page activity

Visits<b>XxNeoNTigeRxX</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 3:11pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 5:47pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 9:26am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 6:21pm

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dbjb40's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (33511)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

#12929120
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (18280)

On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (3176)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML

#12922106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (6957)

On 09/05/2010 at 8:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (4483)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

#12914621
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (5691)

On 09/05/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by misunderstood - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26376) - you deserved it (7481)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

#12908327
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8363) - you deserved it (29730)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by jentea (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

#12874648
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7888) - you deserved it (33729)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nakedyogagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

#12866112
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35230) - you deserved it (2373)

On 09/02/2010 at 3:25am - health - by coyote - Japan

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32086) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (3866)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML

#12852491
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (3672)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:50am - love - by ouch (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52055) - you deserved it (4069)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)



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