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dbjb40

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dbjb40

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  • Number of visits : 9643
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dbjb40's page activity

Visits<b>XxNeoNTigeRxX</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 3:11pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 5:47pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 9:26am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 6:21pm

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dbjb40's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (8420)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (9639)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27033) - you deserved it (12195)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (12751)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8431) - you deserved it (38137)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8431) - you deserved it (38137)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

#12978381
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (8358)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm - love - by kevdev (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34404) - you deserved it (3920)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months said he wasn't going to break up with me, he was just going to stop touching me. FML

#12972343
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (4161)

On 09/09/2010 at 1:33am - intimacy - by karebear - United States

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9068) - you deserved it (32362)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14112) - you deserved it (34975)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32897) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (4747)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26298) - you deserved it (22338)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)



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