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dbjb40

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dbjb40

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  • Number of visits : 9803
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dbjb40's page activity

Visits<b>XxNeoNTigeRxX</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 3:11pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 5:47pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 9:26am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 6:21pm

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dbjb40's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (2620)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (6551)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (27708)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

#13515175
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15860) - you deserved it (34179)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by failed_catgirl (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46614) - you deserved it (3623)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35792) - you deserved it (20903)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (18348)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (8943)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8343) - you deserved it (33147)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (4847)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (38725)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10013) - you deserved it (33001)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (12742)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

#13147361
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (15316)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Laura - United States

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

#13019644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (9440)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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