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daysgoby902's favorite FMLs
by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals
by ApparentDrugAddict / 08/08/2011 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by pimples / 08/06/2011 at 9:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML
by Foreigner / 08/01/2011 at 11:05am / Jersey / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by A girl / 06/27/2011 at 3:55am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work
by Unsanitary / 06/26/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids
by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by brandon / 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by car / 08/21/2010 at 1:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…