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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5154) - you deserved it (21464)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17640) - you deserved it (3600)
On 12/07/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7783) - you deserved it (27800)
On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (27721)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (1341)
On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5986) - you deserved it (27990)
On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (3192)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32566) - you deserved it (1394)
On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States
Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (2195)
On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (3719)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10862) - you deserved it (1309)
On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67410) - you deserved it (9582)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44336) - you deserved it (19817)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (2728)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87648) - you deserved it (18471)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
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