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Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some . Apparently, boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes . He think doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs . FML
2day I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me . He then told me he will die without me . When looool I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK . I'll kill myself!' an then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself . I can't believe I datd this idiot . FML
today I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
today I celebrated my 21st brthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 yeres gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: ( I won't need this as long as I have you! ) His reply: ( That's wat I wanted to talk to u about. ) FML
Today , mah grlfriend and looool I were watching TV. She starts to undo mah belt buckle , unzips mah fly and then takes mah pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited , she says to me , ( Just joking. ) FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. big fat FML
Today, my boyfriand an I dacidd to hava sax. I was a virgin an ha wasn't. About 30 saconds in ha collapsd on ma. I thought ha was joking around an I startd laughing. Ha wasn't joking. Ha was dona. FML
Today, me an my boyfriend cummed back to my looool house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Friday 27 March 2015