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daydream3r's favorite FMLs
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
by silkysmooth / 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
by unwantedlove / 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm / France / Intimacy
Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
by prayforme / 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by man / 10/30/2009 at 12:34pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
by mylifesucks / 04/18/2009 at 3:20am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML
by MID12 / 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
by firsttimer69 / 03/20/2009 at 2:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by princess / 03/17/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by gfg / 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by eaa145 / 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by sadgirl / 01/23/2009 at 11:52am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
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