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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (34879)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45108) - you deserved it (3682)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (6033)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56528) - you deserved it (8005)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (52861) - you deserved it (7557)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (36645)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45403) - you deserved it (5509)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (4460) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38184) - you deserved it (2430)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (22952)
On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45447) - you deserved it (5037)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47037) - you deserved it (7538)
On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57657) - you deserved it (3128)
On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (16691)
On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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