Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

davincidasecond

Online | Search for a member

davincidasecond

7Fucked!

davincidasecond
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 February 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4975
  • Number of comments : 607
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About davincidasecond : Weeeeell, I'm a:
Senior in college.
Rugby player/fan.
Comic book geek.
Guy who comes on FML to laugh.

Just a few things (out of thousands) to know about me. Feel free to shoot a message. But please, no creepers.

davincidasecond's page activity

Visits<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Hildy93</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:59am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:15pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:35am<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:18am<b>ashpash207</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:01am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:35am<b>leogachi</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:05pm<b>lanaoftherey</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:50pm<b>kylerbaker</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:38am<b>alexanderavatar</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Krastrolytric</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:29am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:28am<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:40am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:08pm

Fucked!<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:35am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 8:48pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:27am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:01am<b>_mittlieder_</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:24am

davincidasecond's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of davincidasecond's badges

davincidasecond's favorite FMLs

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

#21373396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (6310)

On 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm - misc - by acapelladisaster - United States (Indiana)

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

#21370722
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (2811)

On 03/08/2015 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by curtain buyer - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36254) - you deserved it (3275)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181) - you deserved it (25)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
160 comments

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
115 comments

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33013) - you deserved it (4878)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44499) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39716) - you deserved it (5048)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35000) - you deserved it (5695)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35009) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: