About davincidasecond : Weeeeell, I'm a:
Senior in college.
Comic book geek.
Guy who comes on FML to laugh.
Just a few things (out of thousands) to know about me. Feel free to shoot a message. But please, no creepers.
About davincidasecond : Weeeeell, I'm a:
davincidasecond's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
davincidasecond's favorite FMLs
by anon / 12/16/2015 at 10:28am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
by fmltom / 12/15/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, my sister finally came home from the hospital with my new baby nephew. When I got a chance to hold him, my mother mentioned that he looked a lot like me when I was a baby. My sister started crying. FML
by hi_im_ughlee / 12/15/2015 at 7:32pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm / Germany (Bayern) / Transportation
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
by ConfusedGirl / 12/15/2015 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
by sarahrachel / 12/14/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Haitwun / 12/14/2015 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was volunteering at a gift-wrapping booth to raise money for autism, and helping others takes my mind off the fact that my mom died at Christmas. While carefully wrapping a present, offering bows, ribbons, and a gift tag, a snobby bitch said to me, "You're not doing a very good job." FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 6:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML
by disgusted / 12/13/2015 at 2:45am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML
by anonymous / 12/12/2015 at 3:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML
by Ihadnoidea / 12/12/2015 at 2:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by fionna_fiamma / 12/12/2015 at 8:33am / Slovenia (Maribor Commune) / Love
Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2015 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Transportation
- Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The… Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her… Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings…